Addiction.

A poem.

I never noticed
that my whole body hurts
all the time
until it didn’t

Because one day I found _______.
And it was such a relief!

Temporary relief.

But, nevertheless, relief.
_______ was so reliable.
Much more so than anything or anyone else.

And then slowly,
pain encroached despite _______

unrelated pain
unrelenting pain
and a fog came down
and slowly,
it became so much easier
and then so much harder
easier and harder to keep on using _______ .

Until one day, I couldn’t stand _______ anymore.
I couldn’t stand myself anymore.
And I had to stop.
How could I stop?!
I couldn’t stop.

Thanks to everyone,
And everything up to that moment,
I stopped.
And mostly,
I don’t crave _______ anymore.

Other friends popped up
and others dropped away

_______ isn’t the only daemon.

but my daily commitment
and my mentors
and my educators
and my community
and my prayers
and my gratitude
and my new habits
and my self love

keep me safer than ever before
and make the pain a bit more bearable

---

by Charlotte Annice

— written on 3rd of August 2024